..and sunglasses and iPod and iBook, plus the occasional purr of the air conditioner. Friday.

It’s recommended that when travelling by plane you set your watch to the time zone of your destination. Based on my one sample try yesterday this actually works. With a little help.

There was no way on earth I was going to watch the remake of King Kong on my flight over to Ottawa. For two reasons; the first being that there were no drop-down screens on this 767-300, so if I wanted to get a look at the film I needed to view the dismal projector screen at the front of the cabin area. The projector gave everything a 1970s feel – washed out brown coloring, slightly blurred vision. Strangely it appears not to make Cheers look worse than it did when that series launched. The second reason is I’m too short – I can barely see the toilet vacancy signs.

Instead, I decided to listen to Armin van Burren’s ‘A State of Trance’, Episode 249. But, aside from a couple of tracks towards the end of the two hours, it wasn’t much good and I felt increasingly sleepy. My solution was to listen to 50 of my favourite songs from June 2005 to May 2006, and stare out of the window, gazing at the blue sea and the little fluffy clouds. There’s something extra-chilling about listening to Sleater-Kinney’s song Jumpers when 6 miles high – when it takes much longer than 4 seconds to hit the ground.

I had forgotten about the Air Canada Pizza, which creeps up towards the end of the flight to Canada, like a dare. You need something much more heavy duty than a mere plastic knife and fork. Scissors or a chainsaw might have helped.

Customs and immigration was tedious. Why do they always ask the same questions? More importantly, why do they need to know what I do and who I work for? As if they’ll have heard of Junctionbox Media. Either way, then what? You can’t carry ‘living organisms’ into Canada – and they have sniffer dogs to detect them. Or maybe I’m reading too much into the warning signs.

I’m going to be kidnapped and taken to Montreal one day.